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Police Text Sms Messages
PPolice Sms, police Sms Messages, Pakistani Police Sms, Punjab Police Sms,
Indian Police Sms, Police Jokes, Police Text, Police Messages,
Police, Jokes
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im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case
against me "possession of good looks".i"m doomed! i need
someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!
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I"m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine
sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin
me 4 taking the piss
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Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out
of a
truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for
reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in
the
road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found
to
contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still
going to
have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of
the
car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but
notice
your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but
notice
your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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Dealing with criminals
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening
and
was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on
the
force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened ?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking
battery
acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them
?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 -
distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex
appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom
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New person in prison
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out.
You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most
beautiful
women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."
The new man asked, "What happened?"
"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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Wife helps out the cop
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation
takes
place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat
belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an
exclusive
jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want
any
trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget
about
this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the
slip
and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show
me
something less expensive?"
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